Rehearsal dinner toast: examples, a template, and who says what
The rehearsal dinner is the wedding weekend's most relaxed party: a smaller room, closer friends, and a little more room for stories that wouldn't fit at the reception. It's also a chance for people who won't speak tomorrow to say something. Here are four sample toasts (from a host parent, a best friend, a sibling, and the couple), a fill-in template, and advice on order, length, and tone.
Write my rehearsal dinner toast, free preview- How long
- 1 to 3 minutes each, about 150 to 400 words. Several short toasts beat one long one.
- Who speaks
- Usually the host first (often the groom's parents, though anyone can host), then friends and family, and sometimes the couple.
- Tone
- Relaxed and personal. A bit more playful than the reception, but still kind.
- Avoid
- Repeating tomorrow's speeches, roasts that go too far, and stories that need a lot of backstory.
Who gives a rehearsal dinner toast, and in what order
- The host goes first. Traditionally that's the groom's parents, but today it's often both families, the couple themselves, or whoever is paying. The host welcomes everyone and thanks the other family.
- Then friends and family. This is a good spot for people who aren't speaking at the reception: grandparents, siblings, old friends, the officiant.
- The couple often closes. Many couples use the rehearsal dinner to thank their parents and wedding party, since the reception moves fast.
- Agree on the list. Ask the host or the couple who's speaking so the night doesn't turn into an open mic. Five or six toasts of a couple of minutes each is plenty.
Example speeches
Rehearsal dinner welcome toast from the host parent
Good evening, everyone. I'm Greg, Justin's dad. On behalf of my wife, Diane, and me, welcome. Thank you for coming tonight. Tomorrow is the big show. Tonight is just us, and that's my favorite kind of party.
A special welcome to Kayla's family, the Thompsons. We've had a few dinners together over the past year, and every one of them has run long because nobody wanted to leave. I take that as a good sign for the next fifty years of holidays.
When Justin was nine, he built a go-kart out of a lawnmower engine, some plywood, and my good toolbox, which I never saw again. It went about four miles an hour and only turned left. He drove it around the cul-de-sac for an entire summer, completely happy, waving at the neighbors. That's my son. He doesn't need things to be perfect. He just needs to be moving, preferably with people he loves watching.
Kayla, you're the first person who ever got him to slow down and enjoy the view. You're also the first person who ever got him to make a reservation. We noticed both.
So raise a glass, everyone. To Kayla and Justin, and to a marriage that always finds a way to turn, even if it's only left.
A sample we wrote by hand. The people in it are made up. Yours is written from your own stories.
Funny rehearsal dinner toast from a best friend
Hi, everyone. I'm Alyssa. Courtney and I have been best friends since freshman year of college, when we were assigned to the same dorm room and she unpacked by plugging in a label maker before she plugged in her phone.
Tomorrow I'm not giving a speech, so tonight you get the stories that wouldn't fit in a ballroom.
Courtney labels everything. Spices, cables, shelves, the shelf that holds the label maker. Sophomore year she labeled my leftovers with my name and the date I made them, as a gentle hint. I'm pretty sure some of those leftovers are still in that fridge, perfectly labeled.
Then she met Drew, who once kept a single takeout menu on his counter for three years because "it's the good one." When Courtney first saw his apartment, she called me from his bathroom and whispered, "Alyssa, there's nothing labeled. Nothing." I said, "Do you like him?" There was a long pause, and she said, "I really, really do."
Drew, you've learned the system. I've seen the labels in your kitchen. And Courtney, you've learned to leave a little room for the good takeout menu. That's love.
To Courtney and Drew. I'd label this toast "forever," but she'd want the date too.
A sample we wrote by hand. The people in it are made up. Yours is written from your own stories.
Short rehearsal dinner toast from a sibling
Hi, everyone. I'm Jacob, Taylor's little brother. Taylor spent most of our childhood making sure I didn't do anything stupid, with mixed results. Sean, she's all yours now. Good luck, and thank you.
Seriously, Sean, I've never seen my sister happier than she is with you. To Taylor and Sean.
A sample we wrote by hand. The people in it are made up. Yours is written from your own stories.
Thank-you toast from the couple
Hi, everyone. I'm Zach, and this is Melissa, and we just want to say a few words before the food gets cold.
Melissa: Thank you all for being here. Tomorrow is going to go by in a blur, and we may not get to talk to every one of you, so we wanted to say this tonight, when it's quiet enough to hear it.
Zach: To our parents: Mom and Dad, Linda and Jim, thank you for everything that led to this, and for hosting tonight. To our wedding party: thank you for the planning, the patience, and for answering texts at midnight about napkin colors.
Melissa: And to everyone else, the friends who've been with us since kindergarten and the ones we met last year: you're the reason this weekend feels like home. Every one of you has helped make us who we are, separately and together.
Zach: So please raise a glass. To all of you. We couldn't have done this without you, and we wouldn't want to.
A sample we wrote by hand. The people in it are made up. Yours is written from your own stories.
Fill-in template
Copy this into a document and replace each [bracketed] part with your own words. Then read it aloud and cut anything that doesn't sound like you.
Good evening, everyone. I'm [your name], [how you know the couple]. [If you're hosting: welcome, and thank you for being here tonight.]
[A warm line for the other family or the out-of-town guests.]
[One relaxed, personal story. Tonight's crowd is smaller and closer, so this can be a little longer or more specific than a reception story, but keep it kind.]
[What the story says about the person, and how their partner fits into it.]
[Optional: a thank-you to the hosts or the wedding party.]
Please raise a glass. To [partner's name] and [partner's name]: [a short wish for tomorrow and beyond].
Tips for a great rehearsal dinner toast
- Keep it short. People are tired from travel and the rehearsal itself. Two minutes is a gift.
- Tell the story you can't tell tomorrow. The smaller crowd is the reason to speak tonight. Just make sure it's one the couple will be glad you told.
- Don't steal the reception's material. If you're also speaking tomorrow, save your best story for then and keep tonight to a warm welcome.
- Roast lightly. A little teasing is expected tonight, but end on something sincere, and skip exes, money, and anything that would embarrass the couple in front of their grandparents.
- Mention both families if you can. The rehearsal dinner is often the first time they're all in one room.
- Hold the glass for the toast only, and say both names at the end so people know when to drink.
Delivery
- Practice it out loud twice. Time yourself. If you're over three minutes, cut a paragraph.
- Notes are fine. A phone or a single index card is normal at a rehearsal dinner.
- Stand up, even in a small room, so everyone can see you.
- Go easy on the drinks before you speak. There's a wedding tomorrow.
Frequently asked questions
Who gives a toast at the rehearsal dinner?
Usually the host (traditionally the groom's parents, though anyone can host), then close friends and family, and often the couple. It's a good time for people who won't speak at the reception.
How long should a rehearsal dinner toast be?
One to three minutes, about 150 to 400 words. Rehearsal dinners often have several toasts, so short is kind.
Is a rehearsal dinner toast different from a wedding toast?
Yes. It's more relaxed and personal, and the audience is smaller and closer, so you can tell a story that wouldn't fit in a ballroom. Keep it kind, and don't repeat what you'll say tomorrow.
Should the best man or maid of honor speak at the rehearsal dinner?
They can, but many save their main speech for the reception. A short welcome or thank-you at the rehearsal dinner is fine; save the big story for the next day.
Do the bride and groom give a toast at the rehearsal dinner?
Many couples do, to thank their parents, wedding party, and guests who traveled. The reception moves quickly, so the rehearsal dinner is often the best chance to say it properly.
Can Said It Well write a rehearsal dinner toast?
Yes. Use the wedding questionnaire, pick a 2-minute length, and share a story or two. You can read the opening free; the full toast, unlimited revisions (included, no add-ons), a PDF, and printable cue cards are $24 one time.